I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Too much gin, very little bucket
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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