Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
