I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
