I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
