she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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