We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
