I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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