is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You're a waste of cheezeits
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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