Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
