dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
