Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Houston, we have a squirter
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
