reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My vagina is officially offended.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
