I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
