great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
