Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
