so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize