i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize