Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
