Will you blow on my dice?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize