He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
