Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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