Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
