my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
