Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
