i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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