Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
