You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
