zippers are such a cool invention
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
