Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
