I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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