Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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