I love having hate sex.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
