I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
