Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
