Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
