I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
