Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
