and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize