idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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