If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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