She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
