so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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