the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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