You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
