I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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