end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
