you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
