You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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