And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
