We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
