How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You're a waste of cheezeits
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
