Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
