yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
