***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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