i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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