I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
