my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
