Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
