Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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